Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Tangled in a web I didn't weave
They say, if you made the mess, chances are, you know how to clean it up, as has been almost all the mess in the past. All are usually from me, orchestrated and deliberately planned by myself, as such, being the mastermind, I know how exactly to fix things.
However, the problem here, isn't that.
It's a problem, NOT caused by me.
I want no part in this problem, and I sincerely wish it wasn't there.
Usually, I was the spider. Now, I'm the helpless little fly. Why?
A person's bloody pride. Yes. Godfucking pride. Ignorance, too, if it's going to go that far. Actually, after living with that particular person since the beginning of my time, I'm pretty much well versed in exactly what the heck is going on.
Fuck politics man. Especially family politics. You aren't supposed to have those so close to yourself. Screws with your child's development.
I knew I shouldn't have asked, but as an act of courtesy, and respect, (which in many ways, I have few, and little for the person), I asked, for permission to do so.
Tell me when, when did your family ever asked you NOT to hang out with a relative (ie, uncle's family) I guess, most of you will say never (unless they are pretty bad company, but in this case, they are decent people, graduates and all).
This bloody person is making everything complicated.
I want to tell the person off, that he/she is being inconsiderate, and thinking of nonsense. Too proud for their own good, and also, have a severe inferiority complex. I suspect senility might be in question, too.
But due to the difference in authority, I have no right to, or there will be future repercussions that I believe will be executed, 'indirectly'.
Doesn't take a politician to know how slimy and convoluted all this is.
Doesn't take a tactician to know the only thing I can do, is to also be ignorant and just pretend all never happened..
-----
Note to self:
When raising a child,
Do not commit any backstabbing, badmouthing or semi-political activity, or your child will end up being influenced by it, and will learn that it is an okay thing to do.
Life is so interesting when,
One of your guardians is a scheming, sly traditionalist trying to act prim and proper, and always trying to preach their own opinion against the other.,
and
the other is an overconfident, too much faith in self, trying to be politically correct all the time without allowing for debate of separate views, and prone to lecturing about their beliefs and enforcing it on you.
Blah. See. I have 1 telling me A, and another telling me -A. Great. I have a cold war of propaganda and opinions in my family.
Screw children. If they end up the way I don't want them, I'll just disown them and have all I own transferred to a dog.
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Monday, January 29, 2007
Pointless habits
Anyway, here, I'll tell u something.
When you read your horoscopes, you only check 1, don't you?
Me?
I check both Capricorn and Aquarius.
Every day on the Star/Sun, every new horoscope on Friendster, for both signs.
So, what did it say for Capricorn today.
Life is not a race; it's an experience. There is no need to rush from one adventure to another, trying to fill your days with action! Today, stop your engines and cool your jets -- because if you don't, you could be missing out on something subtle but wonderful in your life.
And what did it say for Aquarius?
Learning about diverse topics is usually fun for you, but today is a day to focus on one thing. Instead of continuing to expand your knowledge on this, that and the other thing, pick one area and stick with it! Too much movement back and forth between topics is diluting any educational value you think you are gaining. Right now you need to finish something. Once you put the period at the end of the final sentence, you can feel free to move on -- but not until then!
As you can see, I usually take their advice, hahaha! (I shit you not, i do... if they make sense)
Why such weird habits?
According to some astrology site, 19th is a cusp period, meaning it has characteristics of both elements, and according to the more detailed natal charts, my angle is 29 degrees, that means almost into the aquarius.
So, technically, I'm influenced by both Capricorn and Aquarius forces, although Capricorn is the more prevalent feature.
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Friday, January 26, 2007
Hahaha
Hahahahaha.
Is this considered spam?
Very well.
Did you know I have a banned blog because of spam?
LOL!
HAHAHAHAHHAHAH
Yes. More...
HAHAHAHHAHAHHAA
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Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Wai!
Can I say how farking jealous I am now?!
Jedi's going to australia d! DIU!!!!!!!!! (this february) (either 3 or 6 years there! NOT FAIR LIKE FUCK LAR)
FUCK LA.
I want go Melbourne to study too! >_<
Then all these people with their ADP programs, ICPU and shit...
>_<
FARK!
I DON'T WANT TO BE STUCK IN THIS HELLHOLE!
I want to study out of country!!!!
Screw Ced and all the other idiots in Japan.
Screw those buggers in NZ.
Screw Jedi and gang for going Australia.
Screw those fuckers going to US of A. (psychology or whatshit)
Screw those buggers in Singapore...
>_<
I wanna go out of country. Live there as a student, at least a year...
Have a life that's for once, non-Malaysian.
Live and swear by a foreign currency for once...
I want a moment of my youth spent in a land I don't know...
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Not exactly...
I'm not exactly sure what's wrong these days, but I'm starting to speculate on it.
Concentration rather lapsing in nature, a decline of the biorhythmic nature, I believe. I slept at the first class of the day. I had literally no resistance towards the hypnotic lure of dozing off.
Sleep... is becoming less sweet these days.
Something awfully wrong with my health, I suspect. Hahaha, but then, I guess it doesn't really matter, since I don't have any property to pass down. If I die, maybe I should sign a document to donate all my organs to people who might hopefully need it.
Hahahaha, at times it points towards depression, but then, I doubt I'm the type that sinks into such pitholes.
After all, I fulfill quite a lot of the criteria of depression.
1. Lack of concentration and focus generally.
2. Lack of sleep and can't sleep (I have to roll on bed for hours...)
3. Not much appetite.
4. Deteriorating health (most likely sleep deficiency related.. or insomnia?)
5. General feeling of emptiness (clinical prequisite)
6. Fatigue (tired)
7. Intense feeling of helplessness, hopelessness.
Lol.
If I were to die, actually, how'd I want myself to die?
Seeing how Sunway is so close to all the sports car shop, I'd might hijack one, and speed as fast as I can and kill myself.
Or jump off? (Nah... death should be flashy)
Well, I'll think of something bloody and gross, eventually.
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Monday, January 22, 2007
KESAKITAN
Pain!
I didn't expect it to hurt so much, really! Damn man! Now walking hurts (particularly going up/down stairs)! (you won't be surprised hearing me scold fuck every time I take one step down... it's hell of a painful)
This is why you should never do squats TOO MANY TIMES.
Freaking pain like hell.... Strained/damaged thigh muscles, I think.
T___________T
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Sunday, January 21, 2007
STUPID
Anyway... nothing much happening.
Life is probably going to settle into this ordinary rhythm. Class, work, home, sleep kind of thing, with a few outings sprinkled in between.
(apasal tax so alot of homework weih... shiets man~)
(how come this cup of water tastes like tap water... >_<)
(er... where's my car? oh! I parked it there! now I remember..)
I'm starting to like Pan Wei Bo very much. He's good at all this catchy songs, hahahaha.
I guess it's like going full circle, back to the era where I was bonking my head to Eminem and some other nigger rappers.
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Friday, January 19, 2007
19th 19th
On 19th, I'm 19. ----> 19+19 = 1919. What happened in 1919? (in roman numerals, MCMXIX)
January 18th, 1919, Bentley Motors founded. (See that fuck you picture down there~)
Anyway, first off, a BIG THANK YOU.
THANK YOU
but I'm not gonna say what happened, since quite a few other people blogged about it already.
---------------
Well, UNCLE TEO came in today.
He talked about the whole thing of 2.4 and all, sincerely, I pity our little juniors, having to sit for Part 3 standard papers in Part 2.
My cousin told me our Part 2 was meant to be degree level equivalent. Looks like ACCA is being awfully nasty and pulls in the 'Masters' level stuff into Part 2.
Later, talked to MR DINESH for a brief while.
Well, looks like our paper 2.4 class is going to be even more crowded.
I guess it's also about time I start studying! (fucking hell going out almost every other day..)
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Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Universal Love~
Man, what in the world happen when I was gone anyway~
What's with the general emo-ness of the population?
HAHAHA.
Anyway, recently been I've been pretty happy. Things happened, but as usual, they don't get to me. Nor would I let them get to me to begin with, haha.
Anyway, my recommended song for today, is a soundtrack song from 'A Walk To Remember.'
Parts of the song I love,
Someday we'll know
If love can move a mountain...
Someday we'll know
Why the sky is blue...
Someday we'll know
Why I wasn't meant for you...
I bought a ticket to the end of the rainbow,
And watched the stars crash in the sea,
If I could ask God just one question...
Why aren't you here with me?...Tonight
Someday you'll know
That I was the one for you...
Anyway, I saw at very interesting piece on a magazine I subscribe to regularly.If love can move a mountain...
Someday we'll know
Why the sky is blue...
Someday we'll know
Why I wasn't meant for you...
I bought a ticket to the end of the rainbow,
And watched the stars crash in the sea,
If I could ask God just one question...
Why aren't you here with me?...Tonight
Someday you'll know
That I was the one for you...
Horoscope reading for those born on 19th January.
Weakness: Too high hopes in too many things. Desire to be good in everything will eventually wear out the person.
HAHAHA. Pretty accurate there!
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Saturday, January 13, 2007
.....
Today, a call came.
I think I won't be around for the next few days. College classes will be skipped.
If the worst happens, perhaps even whatever planned have to be scrapped.
Ironically, it's that same time of the year, before chinese new year, during the last time something like this happened some 6 years ago.
Bye.
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Friday, January 12, 2007
Candy
When girls choose guys, it's like us eating candy. (inspired by an old post of mine on some forums, saying how girls are like candy. Yes, I'm sexist, so please press the little 'x' on the top right corner of your browser.)
Candy has 3 aspects.
1. Taste.
2. Look.
3. Content.
That is in essence what candy is.
Let me draw parallels, and present my case.
Taste, is how guys come across to girls. It's the feeling, the thrill and sweetness that they get.
Look, as simply said, is how 'lengzai' a person is.
Content, is actual personality, future and all. (can also be described as 'benefits & positive virtues' ie honesty, loyalty etc)
Then, there's the dressing or accompanying sauce. Dressing, in this case, is wealth, connections, etc.
Now, when you eat candy, why do you eat it?
It's because it tastes good, isn't it? It's sweet, there's a sugar rush to your head. Now, if let's say the first time you tried it, and you really didn't like the taste, do you think you'll try again?
Well, some do, but most end up not. And also, do you like bitter candy? No, right?
This, presents a few points.
1. Taste over content and look. We don't eat candy for how they are good to us, nor because of how pretty they are.
2. If they didn't like it the first time, highly unlikely they'd like it the 2nd time, unless you have some drugs.
(if people really eated for content, there won't be so many diabetes cases in the world, so, generally accepted that people don't care what their good qualities are, but more on actual, 'feel'.)
NOW.
Why do girls end up with rich guys who has none of the above?
Wealth is like dressing. Wealth is like, eating your medicine with some other food.
It helps them live and suppress the bad taste in their mouth?
Now, not all like their candy with dressing, isn't it? So, some still quite ignorant of the 'wealth' factor, but majority knows it plays a role.
The order is,
1. TASTE.
Why is 'look' over 'content'?
When you go to a candy shop, what do you first look at?
The pretty ones, isn't it?
You'd try those first, thinking they'd taste nice.
Same with these poor silly girls.
They'd go for the lengzais first.
And
They come back for those that taste nice.
So, where does that leaves actual content and virtues?
NOWHERE.
(i notice I promise installments and follow-ups, but never bother writing them later, so nevermind. If it so occurs I have the mood to make a follow up, I'll make an explanation between taste and content)
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Thursday, January 11, 2007
TESLA COILS!
BEZAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPTTTTTT~
>_<
EMP pwns.
Spectre gunship is gay.
USA AIR FORCE GENERAL IS FUCKING GH3Y (SERIOUSLY)
>_<
USA OWNZ.
(Me lieks the USA Superweapon general)
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Wednesday, January 10, 2007
QWE IOP
Storytime. (in the mood for it, so shaddap)
------
Waiting there... seemed like an eternity. Anxiety grows when you sit there alone, watching everyone else come by. Your mind, sometimes start to panic, and things that you normally would not bother, suddenly become very significant.
There's just something to it, waiting there, waiting... for you.
People pass by. Men, women, boys and girls, little babies. But by god, none of them was you.
And there I was waiting. It's only been 5 minutes, and damn it felt like an hour already. Where are you! Hell, I really wanted to scream, or call, but I didn't.
5 minutes, I thought. Do I really miss you that badly? Must be the loneliness that comes when you wait for someone, at a Starbucks, alone. Everyone seemed to have company, everyone else who doesn't seemed so busy or have something to do that company seemed unnecessary.
Another 5 minutes, and I swore I looked whenever a girl's voice entered my ears. I looked at everyone who had a semblance to your figure, I looked enviously at every couple that walked pass me, wondering sometimes, would we have a chance to be like that...
15 minutes... And god I was cursing in my heart. Why do girls just have to be fashionably late! Do they intentionally do that just so they can piss us off and make us worry incessantly? The brink of insanity, seemed very near.
A stalker. I really felt like that, stealing a glance whenever a car passed by, take a short glimpse whenever a girl walked near. And you! I wanted to know what sorcery you've placed on me, forcing me into such a state of desperation for your company.
1 hour, and I finished my 3rd cup of fraps. My mind was blank, and at a point, I felt lifeless. An hour, I've waited. An hour, of constant fiddling with the phone to make myself seem busy. An hour, of endless glimpses of passers-by, looking for one that match that picture of you.
An hour, and I wanted to go home, and a part of me wanted to curse and insult everything you are.
Then out of nowhere, you arrived, and by some weird sorcery and black magic, I'm following you around like a fool again, without a word of how long I've waited for you.
What a sad existence.
-----
^_^
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Tuesday, January 09, 2007
If you must pretend~
Complicated, and technically, necessarily so. Or the common man would have no need of our services.
Wonder, and be marvelled, at the stupidity masked as brilliance. Bah, it appals me, by a certain measure, that such fate befalls us.
The image of our future, that near future, seems so bleak, doesn't it? The tales of the endless days embroiled in duty, the stories of sleepless nights working with fail, after a while, even the hardy grows to fear what awaits them.
Misery, they say, but how did so many others survive? Are we so vulnerable towards torment and torture of seemingly endless rank and file duty?
All merely a picture, and these images amplify the suffering, when it is not really so.
=\
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Tuesday is one miserable day, I must say.
Paper 2.2 is boring. Paper 2.4 is equally boring. (and both are so challenging subjects!)
X_X
Wonder, and be marvelled, at the stupidity masked as brilliance. Bah, it appals me, by a certain measure, that such fate befalls us.
The image of our future, that near future, seems so bleak, doesn't it? The tales of the endless days embroiled in duty, the stories of sleepless nights working with fail, after a while, even the hardy grows to fear what awaits them.
Misery, they say, but how did so many others survive? Are we so vulnerable towards torment and torture of seemingly endless rank and file duty?
All merely a picture, and these images amplify the suffering, when it is not really so.
=\
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Tuesday is one miserable day, I must say.
Paper 2.2 is boring. Paper 2.4 is equally boring. (and both are so challenging subjects!)
X_X
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Monday, January 08, 2007
Tomorrow, tomorrow
Tomorrow.
How powerful that word is, 'tomorrow'.
To the simple man on the road, tomorrow is...
The moment of time, where all hopes and dreams are cast.
Tomorrow is the near-future, and it is dangled in front of you. So close, and yet impossible to reach. In a blink, in a moment's time, it's already now, 2007.
Where I wondered, have my tomorrows gone?
Turns out.. there was no tomorrow.
Never was, only an illusion.
---
Pages..
Books...
The scent of a freshly printed piece of work, filled with words, numbers, figures, pictures drench the air, and drowns out the small shimmer of hope.
Watching them walk by, always in a rush, always having somewhere to go, always trying to be so busy. What a sad predicament, that they have prepared for themselves, these poor unfortunate college students.
There's no need to rush, the need to be so harsh on oneself, has not yet arrived.
Life, is meant to be taken slowly. Each breath you take, should be fully enjoyed, even if what we do, pains us.
But clear your doubts once in a while, tell yourself, that, what is a little pain, when we have received so much?
Look at them, carrying all the heavy books, as if it would make a difference. Look at them, lounging around like they don't care, as if it'd make them cool.
Neither, knows what awaits them. But perhaps that is for the better, spared of the misery, of watching the days etch forever closer to that tragic future seen in fleeting dreams.
Smell the garbage in the air, taste that weird bitter flavour in your mouth, listen to that awful noise nearby, feel the pain, see the misery and suffering.
Learn to like and enjoy it, and perhaps the days will fade away a little faster.
None is happier, than the fool that managed to deceive himself into enjoying misery.
Books...
The scent of a freshly printed piece of work, filled with words, numbers, figures, pictures drench the air, and drowns out the small shimmer of hope.
Watching them walk by, always in a rush, always having somewhere to go, always trying to be so busy. What a sad predicament, that they have prepared for themselves, these poor unfortunate college students.
There's no need to rush, the need to be so harsh on oneself, has not yet arrived.
Life, is meant to be taken slowly. Each breath you take, should be fully enjoyed, even if what we do, pains us.
But clear your doubts once in a while, tell yourself, that, what is a little pain, when we have received so much?
Look at them, carrying all the heavy books, as if it would make a difference. Look at them, lounging around like they don't care, as if it'd make them cool.
Neither, knows what awaits them. But perhaps that is for the better, spared of the misery, of watching the days etch forever closer to that tragic future seen in fleeting dreams.
Smell the garbage in the air, taste that weird bitter flavour in your mouth, listen to that awful noise nearby, feel the pain, see the misery and suffering.
Learn to like and enjoy it, and perhaps the days will fade away a little faster.
None is happier, than the fool that managed to deceive himself into enjoying misery.
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Saturday, January 06, 2007
Bentley pwns juu.
---------------------------------------
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Wednesday, January 03, 2007
Prologue: Orientation Into The Club
Well, well. Welcome to the Midnight Club.
Heh, cut the formalities, get in the car, and let's go.
No rush, brother. The night is still young.
And I have many miles to burn.
Hahaha. Straight down to business, I see. Very well then. Let's get started.
About time.
Young 'uns should always learn to have a little patience.
You can teach me your patience if you do happen to reach the toll before I do.
(Girl in miniskirt waves the flag)
=============================================
I am very bored.
Very obvious, ain't it.
Midnight Club. Trying to get used to the different feel of handling.
Very unlike NFS. (can't help it. I've only played NFS and GT)
Maybe I should start whoring over all sorts of racing games now.
But no time lar.
>_<
Heh, cut the formalities, get in the car, and let's go.
No rush, brother. The night is still young.
And I have many miles to burn.
Hahaha. Straight down to business, I see. Very well then. Let's get started.
About time.
Young 'uns should always learn to have a little patience.
You can teach me your patience if you do happen to reach the toll before I do.
(Girl in miniskirt waves the flag)
=============================================
I am very bored.
Very obvious, ain't it.
Midnight Club. Trying to get used to the different feel of handling.
Very unlike NFS. (can't help it. I've only played NFS and GT)
Maybe I should start whoring over all sorts of racing games now.
But no time lar.
>_<
Mid-aligned PWNS
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Tuesday, January 02, 2007
MSN, is being a retard.
Nuff said.
>_<
Anyway, choices.
1 - Play Midnight Club
OR
2 - Draw
Nuff said.
>_<
Anyway, choices.
1 - Play Midnight Club
OR
2 - Draw
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Monday, January 01, 2007
Happy New Year
As always, Happy New Year. The above is... something I drew out of boredom.10 minutes to sketch, 20-30 minutes to paint. (MOUSE STINKS. WACOM FTW)
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