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Friday, August 29, 2008
Time for a little change

Brimming with excitement! XD

3 voices

Nocturnalism Deferred

Er..... Pretty lights anyone?

0 voices

Thursday, August 28, 2008
Inspiration

Quality of inspiration = 1 / amount of free time remaining

I think this equation is lacking some things. I will come back to work on it later.

1 voices

Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Frantic

It's quite an experience really. Everything so chaotic, everything zooming by so fast. The experience can really be quite addictive, driven by the frantic movement of colors, with an almost orgasmic aural sensation of air moving past so fast that nothing else seemed to even matter.

Your heartbeat quickens, your eyes focused and once it accustomed itself to the speed, everything seems so clear, yet so temporary. Big or small, it all just flickers past as it zooms ahead. It's an addiction not everyone understands. It's a need not everyone have.

But maybe, just maybe, it's something everyone can learn to enjoy.

I guess there's some fun in staring death right between the eyes, taunting it.

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Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Hmmm

I write like an accountant. It's not a bad thing, sometimes.

-- (had this idea pop up when i was back home)

Holed up inside his room, it seemed inside here, reality stood still, save the regular but swift expeditions outside for food, and water. He's a skinny, scrawny person, with pale white skin that has almost never tasted the heat of the sun. Sitting on a plastic chair, cushioned with a soft pillow, he was on the prowl again, his eyes fixated on the multiple LCD monitors, glancing at each one with the acuteness of a hawk searching for prey.

He fit every definition out in the world of a geek, a nerd, and every other noun, syllable, verb used to describe or insult one of his kind. But what did they know?

It started some time ago, when he was looking through codes and tracking traffic online. What for? Well, just say he was bored, and back then, the net was just blooming out of it's shell. Then he started to notice an odd message in the middle of a pile of seemingly pointless gibberish, which the net was so infamous for. Out of harmless curiosity he did what the message say.

It was a key. A set of instructions on how to decode the pointless gibberish. He could tell encrypted messages from non-encrypted ones, but this wasn't. It was not electronically encrypted, but instead it was a code made by hand, or at the very least, not in human-readable form in the first place. That, was his key into the dark back-alleys of the internet world. The deep, unreached pockets, hidden from conventional internet addresses and locations.

His timing back then was perfect. He was watching at the right place, at the right time to witness the unfashionable birth of the guilds, the transition of normal occults to the net. It seemed as if as the internet grew, these long-existent puppet-masterminds were out to establish their presence in it too, not to miss out on the boom to come.

Soon, a hobby of spotting such secret messages became an obsession, but as internet traffic grew, shifting through the junk to spot those special codes encrypted in non-conventional ways became much harder, as their encryptions began to escalate in depth and complexity.

The codes had a purpose, a similarity tying them together. It was then he realized that these messages, these codes itself, staggered over such period of time also meant a message. The time of each message, the location, all was designed to hide a larger, deeper message.

It seemed insurmountable, at least to him, alone.

And so, 1337Puzzl3d was born.

Picking on visitors innate sense of curiosity and love of puzzle solving, the codes were broken into pieces letting each a little into the action, but not knowing what those puzzles together meant.

He knew he was baiting the guilds, knowing that if the guild-members ever saw the puzzles, they'd seem similar to their encodings. But he counted on their pride, their aged belief that there was little to no flaw in their system.

He counted on that if somehow, someone found out about the existence of the guilds, they'd do something about it. Though, it soon seemed his faith in the character of his visitors was misplaced.

He lost. But it wasn't over.

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Monday, August 25, 2008
Floored

Okay, I'm floored. Saw Taylor Swift's music video today and she's hawt.

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Joy

I don't know what to say to those who failed, because I know I don't know how you feel.

Faced against a wall seemingly uncrossable, an enemy that seems so invincible, I couldn't say I knew why or how you feel. I failed last semester, and I knew why. Sucks if you don't even know what more can a person do.

And so I will not. Here today I'm going to say how I felt after the results came out.

--

Elation. It's been a long while since I felt so relieved or so happy. After having the impact of the first significant failure in my life last semester, it suddenly changed the entire ball game. Marks stopped mattering, only passing did.

It feels great to be over and out of ACCA exams. I know it sounds like bragging but it's not meant to be. It's just a great sense of relief, that this is over. You cannot imagine how light my heart and soul feels once I saw I passed all my papers.

It meant a lot to me, and I think when you are finally out of ACCA, you will feel no less relieved and happy. Passing meant a lot, and I felt it made my parents proud of me. Something I didn't quite do for quite some time.

After all that, I finally could be independent. The sense of freedom was the best gift anyone could ask for out of this. The sense that from now on, there's nothing much they can penalize you own, that as a person, I now have greater say in what I want to do with my life.

That day will come soon. How soon, depends on how hard you work yourself.

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Sunday, August 24, 2008
Wrote down our song

On the phone and you're talking real slow, cos your momma doesn't know! XD
hahaha fuck taylor swift is so damn good XD. Taylor-Swift-ism.

><

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Saturday, August 23, 2008
Not trying to be funny

The month is coming to an end. It's an end to a very brief chapter of my life, and though brief, but has been one that I think I will remember for years to come, when I'm spending year after year embroiled in financial drudgery.


Well, bye people. 1 last week then it begins. Life as an adult (OMG NO).

As Noel happily said, hope our paths cross again.

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It's the middle of the night

Middle of the night. Listening to Taylor Swift's album, and being floored because I like her style of music.

Yeah I know I'm like totally raving about her, but honestly now that I listened to her album, I thought teardrops on my guitar is one of the weaker songs, although admitted it's more emo (maybe that's why it's so popular)

-

There's alot of things as a person I'd like to say. Alot of things I realized on what it takes to succeed. A lot, on life. The life that I want to lead.

The day before results, I couldn't sleep.

It wasn't because of results. I'll tell you exactly why I couldn't sleep. I went mamak and watched Lee Chong Wei's match against Lin Dan. He lost. I was sad. But it was a long while since I once started seeing random people sitting together just to watch a Malaysian play. It was.. inspiring.

I've always been a closet patriot. I've always felt that no matter how, I'm tied to this country, that after I've traveled and seen it's small, backward kampungs, or the impressive suburbs, or the long highways, that I realize, for all that we hate about this country, there's much about it to love.

It's strange, but I know that if I want to be somebody, it will be here. Nowhere else, no matter what they say about how great other countries are. Yes. I intend to make my mark in other nations too, but somehow, if I had a choice, I'd do everything here.

It's like a sense of knowing that this country could be so much more. So much greater, had we stayed.

My parents disagree with, but I've always had nothing much against any religion, despite how pathetic their followers can be. It's a matter of education, and exposure. Give one less traveled a speakerphone, and no doubt you'll get a narrow-minded opinion.

I kept awake the whole night, thinking what I'd do if I had Rm100million to change the country. Sports is what unites us, and I guess we should start there. Just sad to see that no one at the top, really bothers to make a change.

Btw, just a trivia question, if I entered politics, do you think I'll win? I doubt it, so I guess if I really wanted to change this country, I really needed to do so with financial muscle.

Maybe 30 years from now I'll have a sports foundation dedicated to helping malaysian athletes earn a living. Maybe, just maybe, make being an athlete something kids would aspire to be.

Haha.. wishful thinking...

--

Results day. 12 noon. I was frustrated, wondering where our results are coming. Scott called for lunch, I went.

I guess 2 cups of milo ais really can calm your senses. The two calls from Stephanie and Teng Feng also helped make me feel so much better before checking my results.

--

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Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Could play it again?

Hm, hey, this song is pretty good.

Taylor Swift - Our Song

Cute little song hahaha.

---

XD

I'll be on the road. Travelling again, hahaha. They say some people are born lucky, I think I just saw a few.

---

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Saturday, August 16, 2008
I'm inclined to think I'm cursed

It's one of those days when you wake up with a bad feeling, as if there's a knife somewhere, an invisible one, that's stabbing you somewhere. Of course it's not nice waking up with a feeling like that, but generally most of us brush it off and go on to have a normal day.

Well. Oddly things have been quite weird lately. Perhaps exam results stress is actually getting to me and I'm darn worried. Alright, I'm not really worried, but it's like this subterranean thing, hidden underneath layers and layers of various other crap.

And maybe when it goes off it'll be either like an earthquake or a volcano. -_- Well, it's merely a description, an expression of the frustration finding a release. It's a strange recipe for madness, using a mix of stress, fear, hope and anticipation. I wonder why?

Either way, my internet is back to it's usual disconnecting ways. I wonder how my brother will turn out 3-5 years from now. Argh... I want no part of it. Bad or good. His life has nothing to do with mine. Blood relations can be a pain.

------
Inspired by aoe3 - Lancers XD

His fingers played with the indentations on the wood for a moment, in an almost rhythmic manner, whilst he looked down the slight sloping valley, his eyes like that of a hawk searching for a prey, a weakness, a chink in the formation of the enemy. But before he could find any, the war drums and horns roared.

He gripped his lance in anticipation, his eyes glowed somewhat from a mix of bloodlust and fear. He thrust his lance towards the sky, and then, a moment of silence.

Then the thunder of ten thousand men on horseback caused even the earth itself to shiver.

-----

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Friday, August 15, 2008
Negligable Negligence

Another story, because for once, I actually had a story in mind. Pointless.. as usual.

-

It was a sacrifice made centuries ago. It was a bold decision, made by a select few, that in all times that mankind as a whole needed something to look after it, a safety net for the world. A coherent, singular overmind with mankind's best interests in mind, without falling into the trap of all prior AI supervisors, which eventually decided that mankind itself was inefficient and needed extermination.

The goal was mankind's survival, in spite of it all. Extraterrestials, aliens, cosmic disasters, man made disasters. These were determined to ensure survival, regardless of the costs.

It was to act as 'god'. It started with one, surrendering mortal body, leaving only his brain, artificially sustained and supported by a host of various supporting systems to provide more processing power, unlimited and flawless memory in order to make high-level decisions, and ultimately, to act as the unified operating core of a growing interstellar empire.

One mind, supported by various machines and computers, engineered to be the master-strategist of mankind's galactic expansion strategy. It removed the dillydallying of democratic decision making, and in it's place, an almost dictator-like general.

Indeed, soon followed was warships that required no humans, as the One-Mind could control and decide everything. And soon, many things were soon transferred to the One-Mind's jurisdiction. Colonization decisions, resource management, construction, development of warships, everything soon became one, ran by one entity, the embodiment of an extremely efficient and extremely powerful war machine.

Over the centuries, as mankind's reach extended across the stars, the One-Mind soon found itself in a predicament.

As powerful as it was, it soon found that even that, is insufficient, and far too risky. The advent of warp gateways meant where the One-Mind's central core was located was no longer safe enough, despite the presence of various defenses.

The One-Mind's own evaluation led to the notion that the One-Mind himself is now obsolete.

In his place, will be a collection of self-sustaining units, individual fleets run by various mini-One Minds, each covering for each other should one is knocked out.

Ironic, given that it would seem as a reversal to a previously attempted structure. Various military powers previously held by One-Mind, will now have to be slowly delegated back to normal humans.

Yet inside, he was relieved. After centuries of being the singular entity running the military arm of humanity, it was time that even that power too, is returned back to normal people.


.........................


Might post an extension of this some other day. It's something I had in my head for quite some time.

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Thursday, August 14, 2008
Poignance

I guess I'm supposed to write something thoughtful here every now and then, well, I guess today I might very well try to do so.

I had a strange dream lately. Not sure whether it was related to anything, but it was certainly strange. An analysis would reveal that it hints of underlying stress, fears and anomalies, but like with all such analysis, I throw any possible benefits of taking them seriously out of the window by ignoring them altogether.

Irrespective of anything that happened lately, I wonder whether the flashes of light I seen whilst walking to my car today was lightning. Strange, because there was no thunder right after it. I wonder whether it's my eyes blinking, or just car lights.

Hmm, still... Couldn't help wonder.

Ever get those dreams once in a while, where you think about people you've never met for ages? Worse, dreams about people you never met at all. I wonder why. Or maybe, even places you've never been. I wonder whether such dreams suggest a future involving travel.

-

Songs are a funny thing. It takes a certain mood to appreciate certain type of songs.

- - -
Anyway at the request of some people, I'll try to start that long dormant writing machine. Since I was on about that jazz accountant thing..
- - -


The place was quiet. Nah, sombre seemed more befitting of a place like this. It was a small joint where these men and women stayed after their late nights, too tired to go home, but not too tired to fall asleep.

At a glance it'd seemed nothing much was going on, except men sitting on couches drinking. None of them seemed too drunk, probably intentionally keeping themselves that way, knowing very well what they need their heads for the next day.

Then one of them started laughing. It broke the sombre mood like a bolt of thunder, and everyone else joined it. It was... odd. Laughter in the middle of nowhere.

Lightning is but one stroke of brilliance, and when the laughter died, it was back to normal.

Dull, and rather lifeless. Again.

------

Pointless? I know.

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Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Draft

Revenge is sweet. The humiliation that comes with it, sweeter. The pleasure of watching them squirm? Priceless.

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Monday, August 11, 2008
jazz bar men?

I think 10 years from now I might be the typical accountant heading towards a jazz lounge to unwind. LOL

The more I listen to these type of instrumental songs the more I think I seriously would fit that role.

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Sunday, August 10, 2008
Neutronian Disaster Recovery

Making money in this world isn't about being different or radically new. It doesn't pay if the world takes 10 years to realize what you did is worth the money.

So actually, being brilliant.. isn't as useful as it seems. Yes, it may be a good contribution to the future of mankind and science, but money-wise.. only if you're willing to wait 10-20 years for you to get a return on your inventions.

It seems that this world, our world today, favors those who can repeat short-term brilliance, and accumulate them into seemingly a long term plan. Money is made by those who can stay 1-3 steps ahead of the game, not those who live on a different dimension altogether.

Sad, but true. ><

Starting to hate that phrase.

---

Olympics was impressive, but I felt the camera angle could've been better hahaha. There's times I wished they'd just stick to the wide-angle shots.

Such massive presentations are beautiful when they are viewed from afar.. I don't want to see each and every one of them -_-

--

I wonder whether I'll end up fitting the stereotypical accountant stereotype... ><

Anyway, what stereotypes/descriptions have u heard about accountants before?

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Saturday, August 09, 2008
Raise a child


Currently incredibly in love with this song, Raise It Up from the movie August Rush

----------

No father figure in the house
and i'm wonderin' how i'm gonna work it out

oh my friends keep on tellin' me how i don't need that man but they don't really understand

there's far too many presures in reality but dealing with the pain and stress and poverty
and i gotta be myself because there's nobody else for me (ohhhh)

(heading there with me)sometimes it takes a different kind of love to raise a child
(so don't give up)so don't give up
(when presures come down)sometimes it takes a different kind of dream to make you smile
(so raise it up)so raise
(hang in there with me)sometimes we need another helping hand to show the ways
(so don't give up) so don't give up
(when presures come down)sometimes it seems inpossible and that's why we pray
(so raise it up) we raise

[HOPE] seems to be nothing left for me mommas gone daddy didnt wanna be and now im all by myself wonderin where is love or
should i just give up

life falls down on me, cuts into my soul but i know i got the strength to make it through it all cause I'm still standin tall
breaking throgh this wall I'm gonna give my all

[HOPE] feelin like a motherless child hate cuts into my soul its bringing me down cant find my smile on a face of a
motherless child
im gonna break down these walls gonna give it my all ya know
yeah yeah yeah yeahhhh
(hang in there with me)sometimes it takes a different kind of love to raise a child
(so dont give up)so dont give up
(when pressures come down)sometimes it takes a different kind of dream to make a smile
(so raise it up) so raise it up
(hang in there with me) raise it up
sometimes it takes another helping hand to show you the way
(so dont give up, when presures come down)
[HOPE] sometimes it seems impossible thats why we pray
SO RAISE IT UP

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Thursday, August 07, 2008
Never Winter Knights

Hey there.

Sup.

We live to troll. I like to troll. Trolling is fun.

2 voices

Wednesday, August 06, 2008
Blooodyfang-ster

Dirty, notoriously uninhibited, and humanity at both it's best and worst.

Ah, how I love the internet. And how I suffer at the lack of it.

It's like a drug, I swear. I suffer from internet withdrawal syndromes. It's symptoms fit normal withdrawal syndromes, ie

Restlessness is the first outcome of the lack of internet.

-

Some men don't live on reason. Some men aren't guided by money or whatever. Some men just live to troll.

Some men live to watch the world burn. (I'm looking at you, flamers)

Hi, just a trivia question, do you know what trolling means? Oh, flaming too!

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Imhotepped

Er. when the hell did I download an indian song? Wth... -_- Eh... eh.. it's quite catchy. Er.. indian instruments are actually quite nice, they tend to be very... atmospheric.. (for the lack of a better word, since ambiance, rhythmic, melodic doesn't seem to convey what I try to say)

What I meant to say is, some type of musics convey a sense of location/position, that when you play them, even if it's the first time you heard them, you tend to 'visualize' certain type of environments. Although I'm inclined to say it's very much dependent on each person's background and history, as such visualization tend to be connected to certain memories, experiences or places that a person been to.

Hahaha, owh, now I know where I got the songs from. XD

Memory is like a strange thing, it's like a safe, yet not like one. Maybe you could say it's like an exam, where you need a 50% of all the available parts to open the chest. XD

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Tuesday, August 05, 2008
Please stop dc-ing

I'm going nuts with the frequent dc-ing. >< hahah aplease stop la................................... my sanity can't take it much longer......

---------
Work is driving me nuts. It's hard to work on such a vague order, seriously. I prefer properly organized steps. Maybe I should go to college one day and just work on each chapter by chapter.. ><

0 voices

Monday, August 04, 2008
Fine

hahaha, i got saman-ed the first time in mylife. hahaha, maybe i should frame it up hahaha

0 voices

Taking a step to enjoy

There's some things in life that you don't need to be with people to enjoy, and sometimes I think music, isn't one of them. Sometimes, only.

Anyway, I didn't go anywhere today. Spent most of my time sleeping, and on occasions staring blankly into a random corner in my room, or say, just playing the rubber balls that my dad brought back. (surprisingly it's quite fun to fling around the room, maybe because there's no fragile items in my rooms to be broken hahahahaha)

I had a dream. Maybe it's a nightmare. I don't know. I don't remember.

Well, that's pointless, why did I say it?
No idea, but I do remember waking up feeling I had a dream.

On to something more or less equally unproductive. I saw a bug in my room. It's a miniature, 1:12 centipede. Before long it will become a 1:4, but as of now, it's a 1:12. But I couldn't find it, so I couldn't kill it.. yet. Maybe I should go on a centipede-hunt tomorrow. I wonder whether it'll crawl into my ears when I'm sleeping today.

Then maybe I'll become centipede-man. >< Alright. WTF am I writing.

hey, what powers would centipede-man have? Many hands! What for? No idea, they can do the indian multi-hand dance kua~ Yeah. Centipede-man moonlights as a dancer. Hmm~ Or vice versa?

Alright, the thought of centipedes make my blood vessels crawl. OMG. Fuck, maybe there's already centipedes in my blood vessels. Hmmm.. centipedes in your body. That sounds a little like X-files, no? Or was it The mummy returns, where the beetles bubble out of that bugger's mouth?

Alright, alright, I need to sleep. Lack of it is messing with my brain wiring system. (actually, it's streamyx. Lack of sleep merely makes me moody and prone to irregular bursts of temper)

0 voices

Simulated Disaster Regions

I wonder what the hell is wrong with streamyx. Give me back my 56kb era stability, where I can leave the internet on for weeks and still not lose it.

Seriously, speed isn't as important as stability. It's driving me nuts, actually.

0 voices

Sunday, August 03, 2008
Addiction

Swarms are oddly satisfying. There's a thrill in watching a whole bunch of stuff crawl at you. Maybe it's intimidating, but then again.. -_-

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Saturday, August 02, 2008
Subterranean Revival

A lot of stuff that happens, we don't know they do.

We take them for granted. How our ISPs protect us despite their sucky service. How our banks seem to be quite good and efficient when compared to international stuff. Our water, way better than some overseas stuff. So.. I wonder... what are we so shittily pissed about?


Must be the people.

0 voices

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