It is not in the lack of spirit that wears one down, but one that so full of it and yet amounted to nothing.

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I sometimes enjoy indulging myself, little treats to remind myself that happiness is not something that is given to us, but something that only we can give ourselves. It is that which reminds me so that work, will still be work, but misery or a sense of calm is one which we enforce onto ourselves.

And yet it is also a clear reminder, and note for my future reference, that one's sense of accomplishment and responsibility must arise from having a sense of control over one's life, or at least, significant elements of it. We want to feel empowered by our jobs, that the firm enables us to carry out what is expected of us, and in return we are rewarded. Hopefully I will remember when I have subordinates.

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Sometimes training is what reminds us how normal working life it's like. Training is boring, we're generally blur, nothing much is expected out of us, (entirely like being a normal drone) and we go home at 5.30. To acclimatize ourselves for commerce, training for a month sounds appropriate.

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Recently I've been really... disturbed by a particularly unsettling turn of events. I didn't expect it, but I should've known. I really should. Yet it is a good lesson, that some people are just... misguided. I'd wish I could slap the fella. I really, really do.

People are different. And in more ways than we think. I should keep that in mind.

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I feel like I'm going nowhere with my life. Hmm... So, what now?
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