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Wednesday, October 31, 2007
XD

I dunno! I dunno! I dunno!

 ̄\(。_゜)/ ̄

Study.

0 voices

Monday, October 29, 2007
AMENDMENTS

AMENDMENTS #01
since the timetable is more or less confirmed, and the reluctance of some people to go to KL, and we have class on 1st of November, the amended plan is..

Karaoke @ 1utama NEWAY on 6th NOVEMBER, 11-2pm

Shopping Trip @ TIMESQUARE on 7th November, FULL DAY.

Any alternatives please inform me.


0 voices

Sunday, October 28, 2007
Fusion reaching critical mass

When in anger and hatred, stress and unease, one's way of thinking is nothing short of warped, driven to think things normally beyond the boundaries of what is right, and sane for the calm mind. The mind's subjected to such feelings in more ways than one, and the intricacies behind how the normal brain is affected by itself is indeed mind-boggling.

Regardless of the process behind it, I am now, definitely on the very brink of implosion.

God knows why, but a lot of things are starting to get on my nerves. Probably something is wrong with my nerves, but that's not the issue. I'm gonna blow.

Fuck.

And FUCK YOU

0 voices

Saturday, October 27, 2007
LOL

It's 11 o' clock.
And I still feel like sleeping.

NOTE TO SELF:
Talk about crave-fulfillment growth gap 2molo.

0 voices

Sleep and magazines

Feel like sleeping.

manga, check.
newsweek, check.
topgear, check.
readers digest, check.

looks like i have plenty of casual reading to do. ^^

0 voices

Friday, October 26, 2007
1 month remains

A month left, and yet it feels to me like it's an eternity away, plenty of time for me to relax, to just whine about how life is just bloody unfair to me, to just wait and have a little bit of fun with myself, doing rather stupid things like trying to achieve the top speeds of some cars in a game, wondering and daydreaming about owning some.

Saw a few funny things online that just cheered my rather emo day up a little.

Handsome guy with no money, that we call romance.
Rich guy but not handsome, that we call realistic.
No money and not handsome, that we call love!

XD




You Are Changing Leaves



Pretty, but soon dead.



Another lol! Did it out of boredom.

Mock is over for me as of today, so I'm quite inclined to spend my time sleeping and just doing nothing but sadly a certain matter of the heart is putting a big monkey wrench in all my plans of self-relaxation. Talk about self-invoked problems, eh?

0 voices

Thursday, October 25, 2007
MCC2007

I didn't expect Maxis mobile content challenge to send me a cert today. Didn't I tell them I'm withdrawing from the competition?

Hahahaha that means yee phing gets a free certificate for just letting me use her name. -_- Talk about gaji buta.

0 voices

madman on the loose!

Note to self

No work experience recorded for year 2007.

0 voices

Monday, October 22, 2007
your love is all I need

Tomorrow's P3 exam.
Doomsday initiates at 0900hours in the place called MPH.

But that's not what's on my mind.
--

It's so hard to say sometimes, and all it takes is an occasional reminder that perhaps for all claimed by our feeble selves, we are nothing but a brief shadow, a fleeting image that just so happens to pop into this world at one particular time, an existence that's short and unpredictable, and so one wonders, albeit like one who's so close to tasting death and finds himself still alive, experiencing a change that world is too large, and our lives too short, to spend on trivial matters.

And yet we still go on, here, this very day, this very moment, wasting our time in our own thoughts, thinking that for all it's worth, we can keep waiting. If one day it just so hit you that the one you've loved so just went away, vanished without a trace in this country where it's getting less safe as the days go by, that somehow it hit you that you won't ever see him or her again. If tomorrow you'd just somehow die, what would you do?

Choi choi choi, nobody's gonna die! Hahaha

------
------

Hahahha shit the emo season is beginning! Must be the exams.

ATTENTION EVERYONE FROM ACCA/CAT

PRE-FINALS SING K SESSION

VENUE -
PYRAMID REDBOX OR 1UTAMA NEWAY


DATE -
7th OR 8th November 2007


Anyone not free during that time?

1 voices

Sunday, October 21, 2007
Bu Kuai Le

Normally he ran out, and after a while he would return.
They say like love, if it was always meant to be, love would come back.
Today, he didn't.

Normally he'd quietly sleep at the corner, normally he'd just stay looking at the door, or sit somewhere close to the tv.

Today, 21st October 2007, probably around 6.30-7.30pm, my dog, Shaggy, died. Banged by a vehicle.

A little stupid and clueless, but beloved nonetheless.
A little annoying and noisy, but without him life would be a little too boring.
He was a little source of peace, with his cheeky face, when my parents got on my nerves.
He was a little place to relax, when I'm a little bored.

Rest in peace, in dog heaven.
You will be sorely missed.
T_T

Couldn't help feel like crying, but I don't want to.

4 voices

Saturday, October 20, 2007
LOL

I have just found the funniest song title as of now..

203. Ken Nakagawa, Daisuke Achiwa, Akira Tsuchiya - [Ar tonelico II ~Sekai ni Hibiku Shoujotachi no Metafalica~ Original Soundtrack CD2 #20] War of the Panties

LOL!~~~~

0 voices

Friday, October 19, 2007
talk about pain

Oh darn, very pain la...
-_- Next time don't eat and play sports, hell of a bad stomachache later... T_T

I didn't expect 100 plus to screw with my stomach so damn bad weih, now I feel like there's needles poking into the walls of my stomach, triggering massive outbreak of pain that spreads upward and does nothing but cause suffering.

Darn~

Hahahaha, I'm quite bored though, later hopefully going yumcha.

0 voices

Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Technicalities, again.

Something is weirdly wrong with the photo upload, so that porsche will have to be the temporary face of the blog, ya... I'll get it changed soon enough, and it's from PAULTAN.ORG, a great place for car shit, if ur m'sian, hahaha.

0 voices

Tuesday, October 16, 2007
I wonder

My car can't start. According to some forums I've asked, it's either because the alternator isn't working, or there's something draining the battery OTHER than my lights (which is off). It's also quite possible for it to be the alarm to burn out, because that time I actually meddled with the alarm system of the car.

Anyway, so I'm home now, when ideally I should be in class, but for some strange reason I'm not particularly in the mood to go to class. P3 lect says that I shouldn't say what I think to the world, but actually, I don't quite care, after all, if life's like an onion, this is only a layer. There are subtle things in life that you can't see through words, or hard to see.

One's mastery of words is very limited in use, and other than being a writer, poet or whatnot, it's quite a waste of time. At the end of the day others just want it simple, concise and easily understood. The details are left for us poor buggers to work out anyway. After all, isn't it quite popular for bosses to tell you, 'I don't care how u do it, just get it done.'

Well, if that's the case, what's the point of a detailed plan, unless you are dealing with a micro-manager? True, isn't it?

Ah whatever.

0 voices

Sunday, October 14, 2007
Noteless

Think.

I really sincerely haven't done much thinking since the beginning of this year. Then again, I have deep doubts whether I had really put my mind into thinking deep on an issue.

Maybe I did, during exams, but thinking under stressed conditions are never productive, or the results of such thoughts are rarely brilliant or properly developed. Thinking is a deeply enlightening thing, thinking isn't reflecting. It's the long pondering on the obvious in search of the hidden causes, the difficult search for a golden needle in a large wheat field.

Think again.

I haven't been thinking. I doubt I ever had since I started college.
Maybe I should try again.

0 voices

Friday, October 12, 2007
All it takes

There' s a great voice behind my back, uttering how much and why I need to study into the corners of my mind, while usually I'm very capable of shutting that voice up and indulge in having great deal of fun, it bothers me now and then when that voice just gets so loud, but I still don't feel like studying.

I drag my body to my room, just to sit there staring at books, wondering whether I truly understand what is being said within the pages of the ever thickening books, semester-to-semester. Usually some of those words finds an empty parking space in the crowded parking lot of my brain, and makes itself home, but sometimes, it feels like the entrance to the brain is just simply screwed, like how the ticketing machine is broken, and cars are left lining up outside, causing a terrible traffic jam.

I'm quite bothered really. Disturbed, to say the least. Such moments of self-reflection are usually attached to a great deal of worry. How my future will turn out? Will I be able to get what I want? And usually at one point some other voice in my head gets irritated with that annoying worrywart that it just tells me, 'Don't worry, be happy, enjoy your fucking self. If you're going to be poor, you will be anyway, so what the heck.'

Still, the rational part inside me will just push the odds at the worrywarts side, saying that technically I'm more likely to end up in the low-middle class people, aka the working folks, forever caught and entrapped in the rat race, and then I end up emo-ing for some while then start studying, just to make myself feel better. AS IF it's going to make a difference.

I feel I'm quite stupid sometimes, you know, the usual suddenly emo aspect of me just takes over and I'm helplessly tied up in the vines of the emo jungle.

I deeply admire people who have a great idea of what they want, and a clear vision of how to get where they want to be. It's like they have that great calling, a voice that tells them, or a motivating factor to push them to excel and devote their entire life.

I also admire, and admittedly, envy those who because of their relationships, now possess a drive to better themselves and devote themselves to things wholeheartedly.

I guess I just can't commit myself to get something.

0 voices

Thursday, October 11, 2007
tt33

STUDY LA WTF AM I ON9ing for

0 voices

Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Nuclear meltdown

I'm technically supposed to, but I wonder whether I have ever meant the need to be so.

Never mind.
Am I vulnerable online, baring my soul to the world to see?
Nah.

I didn't bare it all, what the world sees is merely a layer in the onion, the deepest secrets still held deeply inside.

0 voices

Happy Birhtday, Mom

Er.. happy birthday mummy...

0 voices

Monday, October 08, 2007
Six nukes falling from the sky


0 voices

Sunday, October 07, 2007
A little smile, and it's all alright

Feeling down lately? Or maybe you're having a little of the blues these days? Or just finding yourself undergoing through great levels of stress, as if the weight of the world rests on your shoulders?

Well, suck it up, sucker. I ain't gonna comfort you.

Think of it this way.

Frankly, you ain't going to have people by your side FOREVER. One day, somehow, you'll be in great stress and have no one to turn to. It's about time you learn to deal with your emotional demons, accept that you've just got sucker-punched and hung on the ceiling fan by a big bully you can do nothing about.

In my terms, I have to come to terms with the fact that I just got owned in dota because my teammates were too noob to use razor & wolf, or how I have to deal with the fact that I got smoked on a drag race by a car that's waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more expensive than mine. (i'm just joking, I'm not a racer. I just love the speed, but not interested in competitive racing)

Sometimes, a great deal of our problem is dealing with defeat, but we humans are like cockroaches. We thrive on being beaten and bouncing back time and again.

---
Anyway, lately there's even more WIPs coming up, and I find that even more amusing.
---

There was a time when perhaps I used to have a little more to say than I am now, and perhaps back then I was interested in a lot more, had a passion in a wider range of things.

Life's full of too many perhaps, too many questions, too much data but not sufficient information for us to draw a reasonable conclusion, to make a meaningful analysis. It's our type of bounded rationality, as the system in which the world operates is not wholly within our comprehension, and as such our actions are limited to the confines of our very minute level of understanding of the world as a whole.

We seek to draw conclusions from many sources, such as how science has always been founded on a basis of consistency and testability, that each theory can be proven in more ways than one, and cannot be disproved.

-
This frail shell known as a body that shields our ever so vulnerable sparks of life from the grasps of harm and danger, our life is not meaningless to those who have seen itself through trying times, that life has managed to retain whatever semblance of faith and purpose to drive itself to continue on.
-

My head is filled with music lol

0 voices

Friday, October 05, 2007
Fly high to the sky

Exam, dead exhausted.
Class tomorrow, dead again.
Car, dead battery.
Me?

Alive and kicking!

0 voices

Wednesday, October 03, 2007
Obliged

I'm obliged to keep my blog readers entertained, ain't I? But sadly the size of the words are terribly small, and difficult to read, don't you think? I ought to start searching for another blogskin that has a much easier to read font size, eh? Maybe I'll start when the PT2 is over, because frankly right now, I have to read and read alot.. T_T

Anyway, what happened today?

I woke up at 10am today, stole a glance at the window (more appropriately, the piece of cloth hanging over it), which seemed to be the source of the soft glow. I rubbed my hair a while with my fingers, simultaneously telling myself how I'd like to continue sleeping but my head hurts too much for me to do so.

I tried to get up, but end up rolling side to side a bit longer. I looked, wait.. more like stared at the ceiling fan for a while, enjoying how comfortable I was lying down right there, and wondering why I'm not asleep.

I tried to get up again. I did, but the moment I did, the pain and aching of a few hundred muscles just hit me, and 'ouch.' It's quite a problem, isn't it? Waking up just to know all your muscles are aching, including my brain, which is also a muscle. Sort of.

If I look and sound abit blur, it's simply because I am. My head hurts. It's like the entire head is in stress, and every time I give it a good massage, it feels soooooooooooo much better, for a split second. Okay, okay, continue.

I got up, stretched my already long hands to reach for the orange plastic cup filled partially with water, and emptied the poor cup. Haiz, there I go, having to fill it again. I wish I just had a water bottle sometimes. 1.5 litres would do just fine. Next, I check my phone. No messages. AS USUAL. But actually it's not the messages, it's the time.

It's quite a nice, comfortable room, but strangely, it doesn't have a clock on the wall. Which is like a major problem, because the first thing you do when you wake up, is usually, 1) check where u are. 2) check the time. 3) check everything else.

And my phone happens to be the only bloody source of time in the room. Anyway, then I did a little stretch, making sure none of my body parts are numb, (which they sometimes are when I wake up from afternoon naps). Looked around again, feeling a little blur, then I'll go on scurrying to find my spectacles, which I have a tendency to misplace under books, paper and magazines that I have aplenty in my room.

Then, I take a bath. A very fast shower, then go down and have my breakfast-lunch, since it's 10++ already.

Mom made curry mee. Hmm~ Thick smell of santan in the air too, so expectedly I'm quite hungry, after leaving the body starving the past 12 hours. Normally the first thing I do in the kitchen is make myself a cup of Milo, the standard Malaysian morning breakfast drink, but since there's curry soup, what the heck~

Yeah, so after breakfast, I kinda forget what I did.

So.. erm.. yeah, That's about it for my morning. Since by the time I'm done with the curry mee and reading newspapers it's already 12.

Then, I went to study. Yes. I studied. I know, but it dawns on me finally how much work I need to do to clear all this 4 papers now, so I'm quite willing to pour out some hard work.

P1.

Hahahaha, half way studying I remembered today was F7 exams for those poor, unfortunate buggers who are in full time, or joining full time due to other external forces. So messaged quite a few poor fellas who were there.

Around 4, my mom was complaining me playing games on the PS2, so I moved back to the computer, and started downloading.

--
Following is about JPOP, skip if uninterested
--
So right now I have my hands on Angela Aki's Today album, and Leah Dizon's Destiny Line album, and Yui's Love & Truth single. Currently waiting for the Leah Dizon's album to finish, but frankly the Angela Aki's album was rather similar to her previous indie release and her subsequent first big label release. Still, it's good lounge music, very relaxing.
--

Yeah, that's my day, I guess.

2 voices

Tuesday, October 02, 2007
XENOmorphIC

This is strangely post number 500, as which I will begin this post relating that number 500 to the atrocious change in channel number of astro, because for one, I'm a simple minded simpleton, and so are my parents, and adding an extra digit for us to remember will probably be a terribly terribly uber huge turnoff. Why don't just stick with the current one, it's not like you'll have 999 channels to give us anyway, nor do we need that many bloody farking channels.

What's channel 500 btw? I don't know, because I don't give a damn. I rarely touch the TV as it is right now, choosing to instead indulge my empty, hallowed shell of a body in the simple pleasures of sleep and generally being a horrible dumbfuck, aka mugging like a useless university student that I am, trying to cramp it all minutes prior to the finals.

Do I sound slightly off? Nah. I guess this is usually who I am, but this aspect of me is generally suppressed because I usually have other points of releasing muscle tension, but recently I've been denied that route of escape, pretty much like how a drug addict reacts when he stops getting his fix. My fridge. IS EMPTY!

NOOOO~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I ought to do some shopping. Yes. I need to buy some food. Snacks, chocolates, coffee, coffee, chocolates, ice cream, jelly, candy bars, biscuits etc.

Which draws me to, 'will work for food'.
-_-
I hope I don't come to that point one day in my life.

Does it rain often these days? Yeah, it has. And my goodness it has made my nights a wonderful embrace with sleep, like a man in a desert stumbling on an oasis.

Oh rain, my goodness. There's an old adage, that goes something about, 'bak cendawan selepas hujan.' Yes. It's malay. I know. Oh shut up you fucking racist. I can use whatever language I like.

Yeah. Some things have been mushrooming lately, all of a student it's like the whole gang just added a few not-so-single people and replaced the singles.

In short, it's like some of the single players in badminton suddenly decided to play doubles, leaving me without single partners to play against. DAMN!

Oh no!!!! (awh gawd, schoolgirl squeel)

Nah, on the contrary I find it quite amusing, like some mating season or some sort. Very cute, really. OH REALLY? You think it's cute? Do you seriously think it's cute? NO!

I don't think it's cute at ALL!
But seriously, don't you think couples are soooooooooooooooooooooooo cute?

Er... no.
Awwww, stop lying. You know you like couples.

-_- I love the stories, very very amusing bunch of people.

BTW, it's PMR, and my bro gets a 1 week break. That stinks, cause he'll be playing PS2..

Do I have to say how bored I am?
Do I?

NAH!!!!

I'm so totally totally occupied and busy! (I'm sooooo lying)

LIKE, you know, like.. erm.. like this, like that, do you like that, can you like yourself? WHAT THE FUCK IS FUCKING WRONG WITH ME!!!!

I don't know.
I wish I did.

You know, I recently find myself super super bored.
I wonder why my life is so uneventful.
It's one of those very reflective moments in your life that you start thinking whether you're on the right track, whether what you do now will lead to where you want to go.

I wonder what would happened had I pursued physics or that sort of abstract sciences.

+20 years, maybe I'd be lecturing quantum physics somewhere, yapping all about chaos theory, membrane/string theory, butterfly effect calculations and making some mathematical bullshit no one understands and criticizing how the large hadron collider is just going to be an awesome waste of money.

Or had I pursued medicine?

+20 years, I'd be useless, lying on the street begging for money because I'm a totally useless and heartless that even dogs feel I'm not good enough to be their vet! Or maybe I'd be someone attached to a militant-pharmaceutical company working on the next biological superweapon.

Or had I pursued arts? Or architecture? Or even, SOCIAL SCIENCES!

God. NO!

Maybe this game of chance that led me here was really what I was meant to be in.
Don't mind me, but I really just wanted to type today, because I feel so bloody restless.

It's like I just ate some power lunch, now so filled with energy and enthusiasm but having no outlet for it to be properly utilized.

It's interesting how I really crave to reach and talk. Or just have the feeling that someone is paying attention. No wonder why girls seem to like their boyfriends so much, hahaha.

The current song that's playing is Utada Hikaru's First Love... hmm, I love the song, btw.

It's an old old old song, but it was the first japanese song that swept my emo, under-18 mind away, that make me totally enamoured with the jpop industry back then, when I tried to get my boney fingers on every jpop song I come across on the rotation sites. (but it didn't last.. the quality of songs weren't the same for all singers, so expectedly I grew disenchanted with the scene)

Hahaha, to think I played it some 1000 times since I got it has to mean something, eh? (interesting how some software keeps track of how many times a particular song has been played)

Recently I've been having 12 hours lectures in a day type of weeks, where I end up being stuck at a particular lecture theater for that amount of miserable time. But it's good practice and will toughen a person up, as the amount of focus and dedication required to remain awake for most part of the 12 hours will prove useful in the future.

(imagine the whining wife that the guy needs to maintain the look that he's listening but in truth his mind is half a world away with his mistress)

--

yeah, I admit i've been a little off lately, in more ways and more levels than only this.


tired and bored too.

0 voices

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