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Sunday, November 30, 2008
Wither thy soul

It's when people start going separate ways, you realize how much as a person, we value their existence in our lives. Once they're out that door, chances are they won't be coming back. We try to keep in touch, to catch up every now and then... Yet our separate and different commitments have put our schedules out of sync, our lives disconnected. We're unaware of most of our compatriot's lives, for work keeps us preoccupied.

They say true friendship will stand the test of time. Yet time changes us, and frankly, how many of us are true friends? Our friendships, many are born from a common ground which we share. Same college, same exams, these bonds are forged through similar experiences, and our ability to relate to each other's predicaments.

Yet when things change... When we move on to separate chapters of our lives, each of us very likely to be at different places, the nature of friendships between people, change. Things that happen to each other seems foreign, and different, within us feeling that somehow, we couldn't relate to them anymore. It's a grim predicament, to know that who's here today, might not be here anymore tomorrow.

I think this is one of the few times when I shouldn't think too much.

0 voices

Friday, November 28, 2008
Great Times

Gratitude. Perhaps we as a society need to learn some of that. Every. Single. One. Of. Us.

0 voices

Thursday, November 20, 2008
Joy

I'm so excited :D Hahahhaa. yay! :D Whee~

- - - - -

Joy is about keeping an open mind. Peace is knowing it's there.

:D

0 voices

Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Bombay Disaster

Night closes in, and the sun sets. But it's hazy, foggy, and diffused,
It's probably orange but the glass between us casts a shade of green,
Somehow ironic, the only glass panel with it's curtains' up, a view outside unhindered,
I see cranes rising into the sky, construction still ongoing.

Against the backdrop, and mixed with our own weariness, it's strange, and yet familiar.
It feels similar, as if the cities could convey and understand those things.
Cities speak to us, as we speak to it.
Alive, a part of us just as how we are part of it, it grows and spreads like a lifeform.
Maybe we really are like the cities that we come from, influenced by it's cultures, it's ideas.


--

I feel funny. I wonder whether it's me. Maybe it's been too long. Maybe I'm getting old. Maybe it's not meant for me.

--

0 voices

Saturday, November 15, 2008
I have aspirations

There are times when it takes hold, and manifests itself in my thoughts, my speech, my dreams and my actions. It's greedy, power hungry, spiteful.

I worry sometimes when I get these moments when I feel like a messiah of a new world order. I worry what has gotten into me, worry, that I'm slowly on that slippery slope down into madness, obsession, insanity. It, or maybe I, have aspirations for humanity. To see that it will be what it was meant to be.

To me I am one who abhor our current, segregated way of ruling. I am one, sick of people who's faith in whatever ideology they call god, drive them to do illogical things.

We will not be destroyed by natural disaster. We will not be destroyed by meteorites or stray comets. We will be destroyed by our disunity of action.

I see a future where one person takes a step towards immortality in a machine. Bionic, immortal, and immune to physical exhaustion, where over the thousand years to come the world will be slowly bent and shaped to it's will.

There is no god. But we will make one. A cybernetic overlord of mankind, a supreme overseer with the enhanced mind of man, a council not of separate people, but of many brains neurally linked into an integrated network with far greater clarity of thought than ever managed by man alone or just merely sitting together in a table discussing and pulling verbal punches that rarely get anywhere.

I decry the leadership we have now, for we deserve a leader with mathematical and ruthless logic. Those who we appoint now are creatures that are charming, convincing, but not necessarily has the world's best interests in mind. Mankind needs this overlord to take difficult decisions for the betterment of society, to radically overhaul the way we live, and they way we are. Our present, emotion-driven thought process, with a fear of pain and suffering, needs to be revamped, and replaced by a more analytical and logical thought system.

Leaders nowadays, to get to be who they are, must instill hope or inspire in a way, that we deserve better. No. Humanity deserves better than letting our present generation do as it please. By no means this is an outcry for conservation of nature. I say here that what we need is a strong dictator, in place of the irrelevant argument amongst politicians that frequently take place. We do not need leaders for every 10 million people. What we need is implants, where one being can watch what everyone does, and control them.

Some may akin it to humans being enslaved should we be dictated in what we do. But I say we do not deserve to have a choice. No doubt there has been many great choices in the past, but the general society as it is, statistically has not made good choices. Or, is more likely to be stupid, than clever.

In this mad vision, genetic selection will be everywhere, a means to implement visions of mankind's interstellar expansion. Men who are genetically enhanced for deep space exploration. A subclass designed for warfare. A class designed to live in the depth of seas and the freezing wastelands light years away from the nearest star.

We have often lived under the illusion of free will and choice. But free will, can very well be broken down into a table of statistically more likely and less likely choices, and when we very well know the choices we would more likely make, there is.. no free will. So the mere presence of an overwatch of mankind, though it may rob nation-states and governments of their function, will ultimately serve society better.

But first, immortality. Though it may seem to stem from a fear of death, but nay, instead a desire to be liberated from it's grasps. With us ultimately immortal, many of the petty needs we fight over will lose it's relevance. Immortality grants the time to view society in a way that many of us cannot. What to us appears unchangeable, is to them fleeting and soft. Mankind can be coaxed in a direction. The resources for any upheaval can be gathered over thousand of years, instead of the short periods of our lives.

Perhaps soon. Perhaps sooner.

==

I think it's one of those evil voices suddenly getting very talkative.

0 voices

Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Wouldn't matter the world

People ask me whether I'm having any targets once I started working. Strange, but the moment they become your colleague, there's automatically a barrier that stops you. Because one way or another, you know you're stuck with these people as your colleagues. That, doesn't quite make them attractive hahahahaha.

Rarity, scarcity matters in attraction :D

-

I'm glad to hear alot of ppl are accepted into EY already. Looks like I'll soon have people to bitch about working life to :D

Though with all honestly, PLEASE TAKE A BREAK. It's not too late to start in March, or February. 1 month, at least 1 month to just enjoy and lose your old studying rhythm. Give yourself holidays, so that you'll look forward to work. Holidays are a great way to 'transit' from one stage (studying) to work.

A sudden shift can be.. very disconcerting, and work will somehow feel very un-fulfilling. I know some people yearn for the 'freedom' of adulthood, but with all due respect, it can wait.

After all, with so long spent in ACCA, don't you think you deserve a break?

0 voices

Sunday, November 09, 2008
I'm your angel

I want to sleep, actually, but with my power nap in the late evenings, I now find myself in the peculiar problem of being still wide awake at this forsaken hour when everyone's probably tucked into bed, sound asleep and snoring their night away.

I'm actually rather deeply frustrated lately.
Sometimes it's so hard when everyone doubts you.
Everyone, and i fucking mean everyone, has an opinion.
Sometimes, it's not whether it's the right choice. It's actually the liberation of choice in our hands.

Some things are best done without anyone knowing, or anyone giving a damn. I know I'm surprisingly secretive in certain matters, often keeping them close inside, wanting to tell someone but knowing there's no one I trust enough on these matters.

Hawthorne effect. Sounds familiar? Indeed, it is from P3, and even goes back to T5. What it essential captures in human interactions and productivity is the sense of empowerment, that OUR choices, can actually TANGIBLY affect the things that happen around us, and works as a feedback loop, that constantly gets reinforced every time our choices changes our immediate environment.

It's very demotivating when what we do, doesn't seem to have any meaning whatsoever. So to all of you, shut up, and let me do this on my own.

0 voices

Friday, November 07, 2008
Schtuuuuuuuupid

I think i've gotten dumber and slower since i started work. ><

0 voices

Wednesday, November 05, 2008
Of Barack Obama

Of Barack Obama and a cup of hot chocolate.

-

I was honestly slacking when I heard the news, loitering around the corridors, bugging my fellow colleagues who are either equally free, or the exact opposite. Strange, despite it's being such a distant issue, I felt elated. Joy, that circumstances have put a man not of their same skin, as leader. Pride, that a nation so large, so patriotic can still be reasoned with. Envy, that our nation, may not reach that stage.

I walked over to the automatic vending machine (which is free), got myself a cup of hot chocolate and sat, skimming through websites on general responses to Obama's future. And the timing, spectacular.

In a world that lacked a sense of direction, on humanity's next step, Obama's victory seemed to shine in a brilliance I dare say I've not seen. It was America's step back into moral leadership, that if they as a nation could see past color and listen to reason, there was no reason why others couldn't. Leading by example 101.

The enthusiasm will whither, and realities of rebuilding a battered nation will sink it. But I swear 100 years down the road, Obama will not be remembered for what happened to the country, but will be remembered that a nation can by it's own choice, elect on reason, not color.

Feeling inspired, the rest of the day seemed to past quicker. Hahahaha.

--

I know this is late political commentary on our very own March 8 supposed revolution, but for all the claims that our country is ready for a 2 party system, I say nay. The present system though is alright. I do believe though, that slowly, we'll learn to accept dissent, that we too can take criticism. To myself I sometimes say in face of critique, that we too, may be bottled in our own world, for all our own claims of being open. Some walls that we have, we can't see but others can.

A nation need leaders who inspire hope, not rulers who dictate and divide.
We still have a long way to go, as a society.
A lot to learn about reasoning and logic.
Perhaps in a 100 years we'd reach that sense of maturity.
I do hope though, that it will happen in my lifetime for me to witness it.

0 voices

Tuesday, November 04, 2008
Strange sense of change

Often when things change, you realize in unconsciously, as and when it happened. Today when they came, I strangely felt a sense of deja vu, because just 6 months ago, I was there in their shoes, walking blindly around ahhahaha.

- - - -

The view is quite nice really, watching rain fall onto the skyscrapers, and the road below. Or that streak of lightning, from the clouds to the trees in the distance.

It's great to feel so relaxed after so long. Maybe I'm just generally lucky, having all the less stressful jobs. Hahhaa.

Anyway, a piece of advice I wanted to say, but find it hard to say.

-

It doesn't matter where you go for work. If you are shaped by where you work, it shows your character isn't strong enough. Work, and ourselves, share a multi-lane highway where change, goes both sides. Work, is changed by us, influenced by what we feel about it, what we think and what we do. No doubt some things can't be changed, but knowing the right thing to do, and knowing to keep the right frame of mind, is more important than where you work.

The 'pride' will only last for a short moment. Afterwards, it should be replaced with humility, that if we choose to compare with others, we aren't too bad.

Some say work is boring and stuff, but often I think if we are easily amused, and easily entertained, even boring and tedious activities can actually seem reasonably fun to do.

Sure, it seems like lying to yourself, but it's like falling in love. You are aware that it can be boring, and definitely a pain in the ass once in a while, but still, it shouldn't stop you from still enjoying life.

Happiness as they say, is in your mind. So happiness, in your work, depends almost always on you. You may be frustrated with others (be them teammates, colleagues, clients, frens), but nothing should take joy away from us.

-

I constantly talk to my dad when we drive home. Sometimes it touches on money, and with money, it concerns me deeply.

.

Once I started working, I realize that actually, money, is actually relatively hard to earn. No doubt, I've started seeing people, freshly liberated from the boundaries of our minuscule allowances, begin to spend as if there would be no better time to do so.

I honestly try to grasp their thinking, but time and again I fail. Perhaps the urgency of their needs have the better of them. Perhaps I've lived life knowing that as a person, we don't need that many things.

0 voices

Sunday, November 02, 2008
Time at 2.30pm

I'm bored, so decided to work my brain a little.

--

How a petrol price reductions can reduce the general impact of recession.

Assuming that 7 million people in our country spends an average of RM400 on petrol, and that a 15cent reduction from RM2.30 to RM2.15 per liter = a monthly savings of RM27 per person.

RM27 * 7 million = approximately RM200 million. So technically, every time petrol goes down by 15 cents, the general economy of our country receives a boost of RM200 million per month. Does this logic make any sense?

1st off. The argument against this assumption. (my current one, feel free to add, if there's some lurking economists amongst us). Changing what a citizen spends on doesn't effectively increase his buying power. He is still earing the same as before, so the general economy isn't receiving any extra money. Therefore, if there is no change in earnings, or he is not spending more than he normally is, technically there should be no effect.

Counter-point 1. The general economy works on tiers. Which tier the money goes into affects how that same sum of money effects it's effect on the economy. By paying more for petrol, this money effectively is transferred out of local hands. How? Most petrol companies are foreign owned and remittance back to their home country is only normal. Instead, by putting the same RM200 million into the hands of the local businesses, the effect is that the bread and butter economy of food, basic trading and so on receives a boost, instead of paying that same sum to RM200million to overseas shareholders, who are unlikely to spend money in our country

One can argue that the same RM200million are paying for the petrol company's employees, which are of course, local. Sure, that seems plausible until you realize that one way or another, the petrol companies don't need that money to pay their employees. They can pay them lavishly as it is. Also, it can be argued that given the current economic climate, individuals would be encouraged to save instead of spend on stuff, which would mitigate the effect brought by the RM200million.

True, but if they save, the most possible outcome is that such money goes into banks.
Most banks in our country are merely local empires, not global corporations, which means, either way, the effect of that said RM200 million is more concentrated in our domestic market.

And even then, it is unlikely that the reduction in petrol costs will result in that same amount beign banked. This is because most of the citizens do not actively control their expense, and many are working on a tight budget. The savings effectively would not even hit the bank, because it is likely they have far too many obligations before they can even think about savings.

So effectively, petrol prices and world economy issues? Not really that big a deal. If there's sufficient domestic demand for products and services, it should reduce or delay the impact of any real global slowdown. Hopefully long enough for to world to rebound again.

---

0 voices

Imperius Gladitus

I'm gonna faint. Soooooooooooooooooooo tired ;P

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