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Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Faith and doubt

I've learnt another thing whilst on this job. Sometimes, it is right to doubt others for their judgment. Sometimes, we must have faith in our own judgment and understanding of people. Sometimes, we must not side with them because they are our friends.

Doubt, is subconscious. And our subconscious may be clearer than our conscious mind. Our discomfort is sometimes a natural reaction to something which our subconscious sense as.. inappropriate. Our instincts, are more honed than we believe. Instincts and the mind are counterchecks of each other. One will doubt the other, for it is our ability to reason between both, that gives us an edge.

If you are withheld from promotion, and are thus dissatisfied, have you ever looked at yourself and ask why? Experience, isn't everything. Especially when all those years didn't seem to add into your competence, attitude and work-ethics. Knowledge isn't everything. It is our approach to life, and work, that matters. Oh, if only I could tell it to your face, that your misfortune and suffering may very well be your own doing.

0 voices

Friday, August 07, 2009
On second..

Gotten a fair bit lost the other day, whilst trying to drive to my usual workplace. Traffic... well, is as usual, retarded. But I like traffic. Traffic... in KL, is about choices. Traffic, is human interaction at a larger scale. It's how people, choose. So many people, so limited choices.

We, as an individual in a particular car, too. So many ways to go a place, and with so many ways, so many lanes as well. Traffic.. is dynamic, and often the most common question we end up asking, WHAT IF, I was on that lane. What if, i took that other road. What if this, that and everything other the sun. Choice.

Yet we have to live with the choices we make, despite it all, despite the what ifs that come around, or the regrets that comes along the way. It's like being stuck in the wrong lane, when the lane just next to you is zooming past. Greed, is there. That urge to get ahead, is screaming in your mind. It's inherent in us, but it's easier to resist when we can tell ourselves that things will get better.

People are willing to put up with not getting something, if they are convincing that there's a bigger carrot at the end of the line. Delayed gratification, so they say, and I would say ourselves as auditors too, are willing to put it with so much for the same reasons.

Oh well. Sleep..

1 voices

Tuesday, August 04, 2009
Crimpted

It is not in the lack of spirit that wears one down, but one that so full of it and yet amounted to nothing.

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I sometimes enjoy indulging myself, little treats to remind myself that happiness is not something that is given to us, but something that only we can give ourselves. It is that which reminds me so that work, will still be work, but misery or a sense of calm is one which we enforce onto ourselves.

And yet it is also a clear reminder, and note for my future reference, that one's sense of accomplishment and responsibility must arise from having a sense of control over one's life, or at least, significant elements of it. We want to feel empowered by our jobs, that the firm enables us to carry out what is expected of us, and in return we are rewarded. Hopefully I will remember when I have subordinates.

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Sometimes training is what reminds us how normal working life it's like. Training is boring, we're generally blur, nothing much is expected out of us, (entirely like being a normal drone) and we go home at 5.30. To acclimatize ourselves for commerce, training for a month sounds appropriate.

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Recently I've been really... disturbed by a particularly unsettling turn of events. I didn't expect it, but I should've known. I really should. Yet it is a good lesson, that some people are just... misguided. I'd wish I could slap the fella. I really, really do.

People are different. And in more ways than we think. I should keep that in mind.

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I feel like I'm going nowhere with my life. Hmm... So, what now?

0 voices

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